{"id":1238,"date":"2021-04-25T13:42:06","date_gmt":"2021-04-25T11:42:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mmstudies.com\/pas\/?page_id=1238"},"modified":"2023-08-09T14:21:53","modified_gmt":"2023-08-09T12:21:53","slug":"lundy","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/mmstudies.com\/pas\/lundy\/","title":{"rendered":"LUNDY BANCROFT ARBETAR I SAMMA ANDA SOM BARRY GOLDSTEIN"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<h2>LUNDY BANCROFT ARBETAR I SAMMA ANDA SOM <a href=\"http:\/\/mmstudies.com\/pas\/barry\">BARRY GOLDSTEIN \u00bb<\/a><\/h2>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h3><a href=\"https:\/\/lundybancroft.com\">Lundy Bancroft is an author, workshop leader, and consultant on domestic abuse and child maltreatment. His work focuses on three areas:<\/a><\/h3>\n<h3><b>https:\/\/lundybancroft.com<\/b><\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>Training professionals on best practices for intervening with male perpetrators of violence against women, toward the goal of promoting accountability and requiring change.<\/li>\n<li>Training professionals on the dynamics of emotional injury and recovery in children who are exposed to a man who abuses their mother, to prepare participants to offer the most effective and safe assistance possible to children and their mothers.<\/li>\n<li>Supporting healing and empowerment for abused women, with an emphasis on advocating for the human rights of mothers and their children.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>Lundy Bancrofts Facebooksida \u00bb<\/h2>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\t<h3>Artikel p\u00e5 Lundy Bancrofs hemsida:<\/h3>\n<h1><a href=\"https:\/\/lundybancroft.com\/child-custody-justice\/?fbclid=IwAR0NwgvoGBdh_tMjo8lM2ou75jP0W_d0jcnU0MO5U5mXXqQhaSWqRFinnn0\">Child Custody Justice<\/a><\/h1>\n<p>This introduction is adapted from a section that I wrote for Disorder in the Courts: Mothers and Their Allies Take on the Family Court System, an e-book available from <a href=\"http:\/\/www.canowstore.org\/store\/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&amp;Store_Code=CANOWSTORE&amp;Product_Code=DITC&amp;Category_Code=MVB0\">California NOW<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>There is no love deeper, more complete, and more vulnerable than the love that caring parents feel for their children. There is a bond so strong that it can be hard to tell exactly where the parent ends and the child begins, and the line is even harder to draw when our children are very young. Mothers have an additional bond from having carried their children inside of their bodies and having given birth to them, and more than half of mothers have experienced a deepened attachment through breast-feeding their babies. And mothers are, in the great majority of cases, their children&#8217;s primary caretakers, especially during their early years. All connections between caring, non-abusive parents and their children are so important as to be almost sacred, but there is usually a particular quality to the mother-child bond. That life-giving and sustaining connection deserves the full support and admiration of communities and nations.<\/p>\n<p>And just as there is a special beauty and importance to relationships between mothers and their children, there is a special and extraordinary cruelty in the abusive man who attempts to break or weaken the mother-child bond, whether by turning children against their mother, by harming the children physically, sexually or psychologically, or by attempting to take custody of the children away from her. No parent should ever have to face the possibility of their children being taken away from them and having them fall into the wrong hands. Every parent should fight for their right to keep their child in their custody; though the system may not be perfect, you&#8217;ll be given the best chance with a professional and knowledgable family lawyer. You can find more <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cramercramer.com\/practice-areas\/family-law\/\">information at cramercramer.com<\/a> if you&#8217;ve found yourself in a custody dispute. For some parents during a custody dispute, there needs to be full disclosure from both sides. However, there may be issues raised that have caused the result of a divorce, for example, questionable paternity. To settle this, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.health-street.net\/location\/saint-louis-mo-dna-testing\/\">paternity testing St Louis MO<\/a> or a facility closer to where the parents live will need to be conducted so that this issue can have a solid conclusion, helping both parties know where they stand on child custody and payments.<\/p>\n<p>Children need protection from their abusive parents. In the realm of custody litigation which involves abuse, the abusive parent tends to be the father while the protective parent is usually the mother, because most perpetrators of domestic violence and of child sexual abuse are male. We don&#8217;t know that much about what happens to protective fathers, since their cases are much less common, but we know that protective mothers frequently encounter a system that is insensitive, ignorant about the dynamics of abuse, and biased against women. In this context, mothers sometimes find themselves being forbidden by the court from protecting their children from a violent, cruel, or sexually abusive father. And this outcome is a tragic one, for children and for their mothers. So, in such cases, they need to have a lawyer that is on their side and will fight to protect the parent, male or female, and child, ensuring that they are protected from their abusers and hopefully can get justice. Thankfully there are law firms similar to Nathens, Siegel LLP, that are ready to fight on behalf of these parents and their children. If you&#8217;ve found yourself in a similar situation, it is worth getting in touch with a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nathenssiegel.com\/\">family lawyer in Mississauga<\/a> or a law firm in your local area that can help you with your case.<\/p>\n\t<h3>Google-\u00f6vers\u00e4ttning av stycket ovan:<\/h3>\n<p>Denna introduktion \u00e4r anpassad fr\u00e5n ett avsnitt som jag skrev f\u00f6r:<\/p>\n<h3>Disorder in the Courts: Mothers and Their Allies Take on the Family Court System, en e-bok tillg\u00e4nglig fr\u00e5n Kalifornien NU.<\/h3>\n<p>Det finns ingen k\u00e4rlek som \u00e4r mer fullst\u00e4ndig, och samtidigt mer s\u00e5rbar \u00e4n den k\u00e4rlek som normalt omsorgsinriktade f\u00f6r\u00e4ldrar k\u00e4nner f\u00f6r sina barn. Mellan dem finns ett band s\u00e5 starkt att det kan vara sv\u00e5rt att s\u00e4ga exakt var f\u00f6r\u00e4ldern slutar och barnet b\u00f6rjar, och linjen \u00e4r \u00e4nnu sv\u00e5rare att dra n\u00e4r v\u00e5ra barn \u00e4r mycket sm\u00e5. M\u00f6drar har ytterligare band fr\u00e5n att ha burit sina barn i sina kroppar och ha f\u00f6tt dem, och mer \u00e4n h\u00e4lften av m\u00f6drarna har upplevt en f\u00f6rdjupad anknytning genom att amma sina barn. <b>Och m\u00f6drar \u00e4r i de allra flesta fall barns prim\u00e4ra v\u00e5rdnadshavare, <\/b>s\u00e4rskilt under de tidiga \u00e5ren. Alla relationer mellan v\u00e5rdande, icke-misshandlande f\u00f6r\u00e4ldrar och deras barn \u00e4r s\u00e5 viktiga att de \u00e4r n\u00e4stan heliga, men det finns vanligtvis en s\u00e4rskilt stark bindning mellan mor och barn. Den livsuppeh\u00e5llande kontakten dem emellan f\u00f6rtj\u00e4nar fullt st\u00f6d och beundran av samh\u00e4llen och nationer.<\/p>\n<p>Och precis som det vidl\u00e5der en s\u00e4rskild sk\u00f6nhet och betydelse i relationen mellan m\u00f6drar och barn, utg\u00f6r det ocks\u00e5 en <b>extraordin\u00e4rt stor grymhet<\/b> n\u00e4r pappor som \u00e4r f\u00f6r\u00f6vare f\u00f6rs\u00f6ker bryta eller f\u00f6rsvaga banden mellan dem genom att antingen v\u00e4nda barn mot sin m\u00f6drar, skada dem fysiskt, sexuellt eller psykiskt eller genom att f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka tillf\u00f6rskansat sig enskild v\u00e5rdnaden om dem. Ingen f\u00f6r\u00e4lder ska n\u00e5gonsin beh\u00f6va uts\u00e4ttas f\u00f6r hotet att deras barn kan tas ifr\u00e5n dem och s\u00e4ttas i fel h\u00e4nder.<\/p>\n<p>Varje f\u00f6r\u00e4lder b\u00f6r k\u00e4mpa f\u00f6r sin r\u00e4tt att f\u00e5 beh\u00e5lla v\u00e5rdnaden om sina barn; \u00e4ven om systemet kanske inte \u00e4r perfekt f\u00e5r du den b\u00e4sta chansen med en professionell och kunnig familjeadvokat. Du hittar mer information p\u00e5 cramercramer.com om du har hamnat i en tvist om v\u00e5rdnad. F\u00f6r vissa f\u00f6r\u00e4ldrar som befinner sig i en v\u00e5rdnadstvist m\u00e5ste det finnas fullst\u00e4ndig information fr\u00e5n b\u00e5da sidor. Det kan dock finnas fr\u00e5gor som har orsakat resultatet av en skilsm\u00e4ssa, till exempel tvivelaktigt faderskap. F\u00f6r att l\u00f6sa detta m\u00e5ste faderskapstestning St Louis MO eller en anl\u00e4ggning n\u00e4rmare d\u00e4r f\u00f6r\u00e4ldrarna bor genomf\u00f6ras s\u00e5 att denna fr\u00e5ga kan f\u00e5 en gedigen slutsats, vilket hj\u00e4lper b\u00e5da parter att veta var de st\u00e5r f\u00f6r v\u00e5rdnad och betalning av barn.<\/p>\n<p>Barn beh\u00f6ver beskydd fr\u00e5n sina v\u00e5ldsamma f\u00f6r\u00e4ldrar. Inom r\u00e4ttsut\u00f6vning som handl\u00e4gger \u00a0\u00f6vergrepp mot barn ser tendensen s\u00e5 ut att <strong>det i allm\u00e4nhet \u00e4r fadern som \u00e4r f\u00f6r\u00f6vare av DV &amp; CA ( (Domestic Violence &amp; Child Abuse = DV &amp; CA)och \u00a0modern den skyddande f\u00f6r\u00e4ldern,<\/strong> eftersom de flesta f\u00f6r\u00f6vare av v\u00e5ld i hemmet och sexuella \u00f6vergrepp mot barn \u00e4r m\u00e4n. Vi vet inte s\u00e5 mycket om vad som h\u00e4nder med skyddande pappor, eftersom deras fall \u00e4r mycket mindre vanliga, men<strong> vi vet att skyddande mammor ofta st\u00f6ter p\u00e5 ett system som \u00e4r ok\u00e4nsligt och okunnigt om dynamiken i fr\u00e5ga om DV &amp; CA \u00a0och partisk mot kvinnor<\/strong>. I detta sammanhang \u00e4r m\u00f6drar ibland f\u00f6rbjudna av domstolen att skydda sina barn fr\u00e5n en v\u00e5ldsam, grym eller sexuellt kr\u00e4nkande far. Och detta resulterar i en djup tragik f\u00f6r barn och deras mammor. I s\u00e5dana fall m\u00e5ste de ha en advokat som \u00e4r p\u00e5 deras sida och kommer att k\u00e4mpa f\u00f6r att skydda f\u00f6r\u00e4ldern, mannen eller kvinnan och barnet, s\u00e5 att de skyddas fr\u00e5n sina f\u00f6r\u00f6vare och f\u00f6rhoppningsvis kan f\u00e5 r\u00e4ttvisa. Tack och lov finns det advokatbyr\u00e5er som liknar Nathens, Siegel LLP, som \u00e4r redo att verka f\u00f6r dessa f\u00f6r\u00e4ldrars och deras barns r\u00e4kning. Om du har befunnit dig i en liknande situation \u00e4r det v\u00e4rt att kontakta en familjeadvokat i Mississauga eller ett advokatbyr\u00e5 i ditt omr\u00e5de som kan hj\u00e4lpa dig i ditt fall.<\/p>\n\t<h3>Forts\u00e4ttn. p\u00e5 Lundy Bancrofts artikel:<\/h3>\n<p>On behalf of the hundreds of people across the continent who are currently working for family court justice, I want to communicate to you our caring and solidarity with the challenging road you have ahead of you, as you fight to keep your children safe in body and soul. I want to let you know how critically important we believe that project to be, and how much your children need you to stand up for their rights and their well-being. You deserve admiration, not criticism, for the courageous risks you are taking on their behalf, and for your determination that all of you should have the opportunity to live in freedom and kindness.<\/p>\n<p>Our society is currently giving mothers a powerful and crazy-making mixed message. First, it says to mothers, &#8221;If your children&#8217;s father is violent or abusive to you or to your children, you should leave him in order to keep your children from being exposed to his behavior.&#8221; But then, if the mother does leave, the society many times appears to do an abrupt about-face, and say, &#8221;Now that you are spilt up from your abusive partner, you must expose your children to him. Only now you must send them alone with him, without you even being around anymore to keep an eye on whether they are okay.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><b>What do we want? Do we want mothers to protect their children from abusers, or don&#8217;t we?<\/b><\/p>\n<p>The sad result of this double-bind is that many mothers who take entirely appropriate steps to protect their children from exposure to abuse are being insulted by court personnel, harshly and unethically criticized and ridiculed in custody evaluations and psychological assessments, and required to send their children into unsupervised contact or even custody with their abusive fathers. And sometimes these rulings are coming in the face of overwhelming evidence that the children have both witnessed abuse and suffered it directly, evidence that would convince any reasonable and unbiased person that the children were in urgent need of protection. Family courts across the US and Canada appear to be guilty day in and day out of reckless endangerment of children.<\/p>\n<p>Fortunately, there are also many women who do succeed in keeping their children safe post-separation. Some manage to persuade judges to grant the mother appropriate right to keep her children safe. Others lost in the early stages but do better later, as the abuser finally starts to show his true colors over time. Some women find that they succeed best by staying out of court, and using other methods to protect their children, such as waiting for the abuser to lose interest and drop out, or moving some distance away so that he will tire. Some women find that what works best is to focus on involving their children in supportive services, connecting them to healthy relatives, and teaching them to think critically and independently, so that they become strong children who see through the abuse and manipulation.<\/p>\n\t<h3>Google-\u00f6vers\u00e4ttning av stycket ovan:<\/h3>\n<p>P\u00e5 uppdrag av de hundratals m\u00e4nniskor \u00f6ver hela kontinenten som f\u00f6r n\u00e4rvarande arbetar f\u00f6r r\u00e4ttvisa i famijer\u00e4tten vill jag meddela v\u00e5r omtanke och solidaritet med dig och den utmanande v\u00e4g du har framf\u00f6r dig, n\u00e4r du k\u00e4mpar f\u00f6r att h\u00e5lla dina barn s\u00e4kra till kropp och sj\u00e4l. Jag vill l\u00e5ta meddela dig hur avg\u00f6rande vi menar att ditt projekt \u00e4r och hur mycket dina barn \u00e4r i behov av att du ska st\u00e5 upp f\u00f6r deras r\u00e4ttigheter och v\u00e4lbefinnande. Du f\u00f6rtj\u00e4nar beundran, inte kritik, f\u00f6r de modiga riskerna du tar f\u00f6r deras r\u00e4kning, och f\u00f6r din beslutsamhet att ni alla ska f\u00e5 m\u00f6jlighet att leva i frihet och v\u00e4nlighet.<\/p>\n<p>V\u00e5rt samh\u00e4lle ger f\u00f6r n\u00e4rvarande m\u00f6drar ett kraftfullt och galet blandat budskap. F\u00f6rst uppmanas m\u00f6drar att: <em>&#8221;Om dina barns far \u00e4r v\u00e5ldsam eller kr\u00e4nkande mot dig eller dina barn, b\u00f6r du l\u00e4mna honom f\u00f6r att f\u00f6rhindra att dina barn uts\u00e4tts f\u00f6r hans beteende.&#8221;<\/em> Men om mamman l\u00e4mnar, verkar samh\u00e4llet m\u00e5nga g\u00e5nger v\u00e4nda bort ansiktet och s\u00e4ga,<em> &#8221;Nu n\u00e4r du har l\u00f6sgjort dig fr\u00e5n din kr\u00e4nkande partner, m\u00e5ste du uts\u00e4tta dina barn f\u00f6r honom. F\u00f6rst nu m\u00e5ste du skicka dem ensamma med honom, utan att du ens finns kvar f\u00f6r att h\u00e5lla koll p\u00e5 om de \u00e4r okej.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>Vad vill vi ha? Vill vi att m\u00f6drar skyddar sina barn fr\u00e5n \u00f6vergrepp, eller inte?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Det sorgliga resultatet av dessa dubbla budskap \u00e4r att m\u00e5nga mammor som vidtar helt l\u00e4mpliga \u00e5tg\u00e4rder f\u00f6r att skydda sina barn \u00a0gentemot utsatthet f\u00f6r \u00f6vergrepp blir f\u00f6rol\u00e4mpade och h\u00e5rt kritiserade \u00a0av domstolspersonal och oetiskt f\u00f6rl\u00f6jligade \u00a0i v\u00e5rdnadsutredningar och psykologiska utl\u00e5tanden och m\u00e5ste skicka sina \u00a0barn till umg\u00e4nge utan \u00f6vervakning eller till och med v\u00e5rdnad hos f\u00e4der som \u00e4r f\u00f6r\u00f6vare. Och ibland kommer dessa avg\u00f6randen inf\u00f6r \u00f6verv\u00e4ldigande bevis f\u00f6r att barnen b\u00e5de har bevittnat \u00f6vergrepp och lidit det direkt, bevis som skulle \u00f6vertyga alla rimliga och opartiska personer om att barnen var i akut behov av skydd. Familjedomstolar i hela USA och Kanada verkar g\u00e5ng p\u00e5 g\u00e5ng g\u00f6ra sig skyldiga \u00a0 till v\u00e5rdsl\u00f6sa hot mot barn.<\/p>\n<p>Lyckligtvis finns det ocks\u00e5 m\u00e5nga kvinnor som lyckas h\u00e5lla sina barn s\u00e4kra efter separationen. Vissa lyckas \u00f6vertala domare att ge mamman l\u00e4mplig r\u00e4tt att skydda sina barn. Andra f\u00f6rlorade i de tidiga stadierna men klarar sig b\u00e4ttre senare, eftersom f\u00f6r\u00f6varna \u00a0\u00e4ntligen b\u00f6rjar visa sitt r\u00e4tta ansiktet med tiden. <strong>Vissa kvinnor tycker att de lyckas b\u00e4st genom att h\u00e5lla sig utanf\u00f6r domstolen<\/strong> och anv\u00e4nda andra metoder f\u00f6r att skydda sina barn, till exempel att v\u00e4nta p\u00e5 att f\u00f6r\u00f6varen tappar intresset och hoppar av, eller flyttar en bit bort s\u00e5 att han tr\u00f6ttnar. <strong>Vissa kvinnor tycker att det som fungerar b\u00e4st \u00e4r att fokusera p\u00e5 att involvera sina barn i st\u00f6djande tj\u00e4nster, ansluta dem till friska sl\u00e4ktingar och l\u00e4ra dem att t\u00e4nka kritiskt och sj\u00e4lvst\u00e4ndigt, s\u00e5 att de blir starka barn som ser igenom missbruk och manipulation.<\/strong><\/p>\n\t<h3>Forts\u00e4ttn. p\u00e5 Lundy Bancrofts artikel:<\/h3>\n<p>There is no formula that works for everyone. What strategies will work best for you depends on what your local court system is like, how much support you are receiving from friends and relatives, how much internal strength your children have, and how much (or how little) damage the abuser has already succeeded in doing to your relationships with your children. And each abuser is different. Some, for example, can be placated if they feel like they have won, and will gradually drift off, while others will never be satisfied with anything less than completely alienating children from their mother. Lawyers can advise you on court strategy, therapists can share their insight into children&#8217;s injuries and healing processes, but ultimately you have to rely most on your own judgment, because you are the only expert on the full complexities of you specific situation.<\/p>\n<p>As you make your way ahead, I hope you will put a high priority on taking good care of yourself. Seek out kind, supportive people who are good listeners. Nurture your friendships and family relationships. Try to step through the stress long enough each day to spend some time showering your children with love if they are with you, and make sure to play with them, not just look after their needs. Notice what you have already done well, as a parent and as an advocate for your children. Give yourself credit for your own strength, and celebrate the fact that your mind is getting free of the abuse, even if your children are not free yet. Cry out your sorrows when you need to, sob into a pillow behind a closed door so you won&#8217;t upset your children, but do sob, because your heart needs the cleansing relief of those tears. And then build on your strengths and accomplishments to keep fighting.<\/p>\n<p>I wish the &#8221;justice system&#8221; dispensed justice, but where it comes to child custody litigation involving abusive fathers, outcomes are mixed at best. With adequate knowledge and planning, and especially if you are among the fortunate mothers who are able to obtain competent legal representation from a lawyer who understands what abusers are like as parents, you may be able to keep your children on the path to healing. If your case goes poorly, there are still ways that you can help your children feel your love and support surrounding them, and give them the strength to survive their father&#8217;s destructiveness. But regardless of the outcome you experience personally, you might want to keep the following points in mind:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>The custody system in the US and Canada is broken. You are not the only person who has experienced unhealthy and biased responses, and you are not the crazy, paranoid, vindictive person they may be painting you as. It is important that you be even more wary of how you can be painted by the court system if you have a criminal record. It&#8217;s best that you search for a <a href=\"https:\/\/pardonsandwaivers.com\/pardons-canada\/\">Canadian pardon<\/a> or a pardon from wherever you&#8217;re located so that your past mistakes can&#8217;t be used against you, as the system can paint you negatively even without a record.<\/li>\n<li>Other women need your help to change that system, so that protective mothers start receiving proper respects for their rights and their children&#8217;s rights.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Depending on where your own case stands currently, you may have trouble imagining any involvements right now beyond your day-to-day survival, and your efforts to keep your children functioning. But involvement in social change efforts is not necessarily separate from personal healing. Many women have found that when they become active in the protective parents movement, raising their voices loudly for the custody rights of mothers who have been battered or whose children have been sexually abused, their own healing leaps forward. Breaking down personal isolation sometimes goes hand in hand with breaking down political isolation. So I offer suggestions here not only for ways to carry on your own fight, but also for avenues to join forces with other women (and male allies) who are working for social justice, so that protective mothers and their children can stop being torn apart.<\/p>\n<p>I want to express my personal gratitude to you for your efforts to protect your children from abuse, and to raise them into caring, kind, humane values. The whole world benefits when you fight for your children&#8217;s rights, and for their freedom. Protective mothers are some of our society&#8217;s most invisible and most important heroes, even while they are treated so often, in a bitter irony, as villains.<\/p>\n\t<h3>Google-\u00f6vers\u00e4ttning av stycket ovan:<\/h3>\n<p>Det finns ingen formel som fungerar f\u00f6r alla. Vilka strategier som fungerar b\u00e4st f\u00f6r dig beror p\u00e5 hur ditt lokala domstolssystem sere ut, hur mycket st\u00f6d du f\u00e5r fr\u00e5n v\u00e4nner och sl\u00e4ktingar, hur mycket intern styrka dina barn har och hur mycket (eller hur lite)skada f\u00f6r\u00f6varen redan har lyckats tillfoga relationen med dina barn. Och varje f\u00f6r\u00f6vare \u00e4r olik. Vissa kan till exempel placeras om de k\u00e4nner att de har vunnit och gradvis kommer s\u00e5 sm\u00e5ningom att droppa av, medan andra inte kommer att vara n\u00f6jda med mindre \u00e4n att helt avskilja sin barn fr\u00e5n deras m\u00f6drar.<\/p>\n<p>Advokater kan ge dig r\u00e5d om r\u00e4tt sorts strategi domstolen, terapeuter kan dela sin insikter om barns skador och l\u00e4kningsprocess, men i slut\u00e4ndan m\u00e5ste du lita mest p\u00e5 din egen bed\u00f6mning, f\u00f6r du \u00e4r den enda experten p\u00e5 den komplicerade situationen i din specifika situation.<\/p>\n<p>N\u00e4r du tar dig fram\u00e5t hoppas jag att du kommer att prioritera att ta v\u00e4l hand om dig sj\u00e4lv. Leta efter sn\u00e4lla, st\u00f6djande m\u00e4nniskor som \u00e4r bra lyssnare. V\u00e5rda dina v\u00e4nskap och familjerelationer. F\u00f6rs\u00f6k att g\u00e5 igenom stressen tillr\u00e4ckligt l\u00e4nge varje dag f\u00f6r att spendera lite tid p\u00e5 att duscha dina barn med k\u00e4rlek om de \u00e4r med dig, och se till att leka med dem, inte bara ta hand om deras behov. L\u00e4gg m\u00e4rke till vad du redan har gjort bra, som f\u00f6r\u00e4lder och som talesperson f\u00f6r dina barn. Ge dig sj\u00e4lv kredit f\u00f6r din egen styrka och fira det faktum att ditt sinne blivit fritt fr\u00e5n \u00f6vergreppet, \u00e4ven om dina barn inte \u00e4r fria \u00e4n. Gr\u00e5t ut dina sorger n\u00e4r du beh\u00f6ver det, snyfta i en kudde bakom en st\u00e4ngd d\u00f6rr s\u00e5 att du inte kommer att g\u00f6ra dina barn uppr\u00f6rda, men snyfta, f\u00f6r ditt hj\u00e4rta beh\u00f6ver bli rensat till l\u00e4ttnad med dessa t\u00e5rar. Och bygg sedan p\u00e5 dina styrkor och prestationer f\u00f6r att forts\u00e4tta sl\u00e5ss.<\/p>\n<p>Jag \u00f6nskar att &#8221;r\u00e4ttsv\u00e4sendet&#8221; ut\u00f6vade r\u00e4ttvisa, men n\u00e4r det g\u00e4ller v\u00e5rdnadstvister med v\u00e5ldsamma f\u00e4der \u00e4r resultaten i b\u00e4sta fall blandade. Med adekvat kunskap och planering, och s\u00e4rskilt om du \u00e4r bland de lyckliga m\u00f6drarna som kan f\u00e5 beh\u00f6rig juridisk representation fr\u00e5n en advokat som f\u00f6rst\u00e5r hur \u00f6vergrepp \u00e4r som f\u00f6r\u00e4ldrar, kanske du kan h\u00e5lla dina barn p\u00e5 v\u00e4g till l\u00e4kning. Om ditt fall g\u00e5r d\u00e5ligt finns det fortfarande s\u00e4tt att hj\u00e4lpa dina barn att k\u00e4nna din k\u00e4rlek och st\u00f6d kring dem och ge dem styrkan att \u00f6verleva sin fars destruktivitet. Men oavsett resultatet du upplever personligen kanske du vill ha f\u00f6ljande punkter i \u00e5tanke:<\/p>\n<p>Familjer\u00e4ttssystemet i USA och Kanada \u00e4r trasigt. Du \u00e4r inte den enda person som har upplevt ett oh\u00e4lsosamt och partiskt bem\u00f6tande, och du \u00e4r inte den galet paranoida och h\u00e4mndlystna person som de utm\u00e5lar dig till. Det \u00e4r viktigt att du \u00e4r \u00e4nnu mer f\u00f6rsiktig med hur du kan bed\u00f6mas av domstolssystemet om du \u00e4r involverad i ett \u00a0brottm\u00e5l. Det \u00e4r b\u00e4st att du s\u00f6ker efter en kanadensisk f\u00f6rl\u00e5telse eller en ben\u00e5dning var du \u00e4n befinner dig s\u00e5 att dina tidigare misstag inte kan v\u00e4ndas mot dig, eftersom systemet kan bed\u00f6ma dig negativt \u00e4ven utan bevis.<\/p>\n<p>Andra kvinnor beh\u00f6ver din hj\u00e4lp f\u00f6r att verka f\u00f6r en f\u00f6r\u00e4ndring avsystemet, s\u00e5 att skyddande m\u00f6drar ges respekt f\u00f6r sina egna och sina barns r\u00e4ttigheter.<\/p>\n<p>Beroende p\u00e5 var ditt eget fall st\u00e5r f\u00f6r n\u00e4rvarande kan du ha problem med att f\u00f6rest\u00e4lla dig n\u00e5gon involveringar just nu ut\u00f6ver din dagliga \u00f6verlevnad och anstr\u00e4ngningar f\u00f6r att h\u00e5lla dina barn i funktion. Men engagemang i sociala f\u00f6r\u00e4ndringsinsatser skiljer sig inte n\u00f6dv\u00e4ndigtvis fr\u00e5n personlig l\u00e4kning. M\u00e5nga kvinnor har funnit att n\u00e4r de blir aktiva i den skyddande f\u00f6r\u00e4ldrar\u00f6relsen och h\u00f6jer sin r\u00f6st h\u00f6gt f\u00f6r v\u00e5rdnadsr\u00e4tten f\u00f6r m\u00f6drar som har blivit misshandlade eller vars barn har utsatts f\u00f6r sexuella \u00f6vergrepp, tar deras egen l\u00e4kning ett kliv fram\u00e5t. Att bryta ner personlig isolering g\u00e5r ibland hand i hand med att bryta ned politisk isolering. S\u00e5 mitt f\u00f6rslag \u00e4r att inte bara forts\u00e4tta f\u00f6ra din egen kamp, \u200b\u200butan ocks\u00e5 att g\u00e5 samman med andra kvinnor (och manliga allierade) som arbetar f\u00f6r social r\u00e4ttvisa, s\u00e5 att det kan komma till ett slut med att skyddande m\u00f6drar och deras barn trasas s\u00f6nder .<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jag vill uttrycka min personliga tacksamhet till dig f\u00f6r dina anstr\u00e4ngningar att skydda dina barn fr\u00e5n \u00f6vergrepp och att h\u00f6ja dem till omt\u00e4nksamma, v\u00e4nliga, humana v\u00e4rderingar. Hela v\u00e4rlden gynnas n\u00e4r du k\u00e4mpar f\u00f6r dina barns r\u00e4ttigheter och f\u00f6r deras frihet. Skyddande m\u00f6drar \u00e4r n\u00e5gra av v\u00e5rt samh\u00e4lles mest osynliga och viktigaste hj\u00e4ltar, \u00e4ven om de behandlas s\u00e5 ofta, i en bitter ironi, som skurkar.<\/strong><\/p>\n<h2>Lundy Bancroft<\/h2>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>LUNDY BANCROFT ARBETAR I SAMMA ANDA SOM BARRY GOLDSTEIN \u00bb &nbsp; Lundy Bancroft is an author, workshop leader, and consultant on domestic abuse and child maltreatment. His work focuses on three areas: https:\/\/lundybancroft.com Training professionals on best practices for intervening with male perpetrators of violence against women, toward the goal of promoting accountability and requiring&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"full-width-page.php","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1238","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/mmstudies.com\/pas\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1238","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/mmstudies.com\/pas\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/mmstudies.com\/pas\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/mmstudies.com\/pas\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/mmstudies.com\/pas\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1238"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"http:\/\/mmstudies.com\/pas\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1238\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1765,"href":"http:\/\/mmstudies.com\/pas\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1238\/revisions\/1765"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/mmstudies.com\/pas\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1238"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}